I felt like he staring at me. All the food in front of me suddenly tasteless. And my appetite was disappear. I slowly ate my dish while keep looking on the bowl I held. It was one of the uncomfortable moment I ever had. I gulped hard my rice. I took a glance of him for a second and, damn! He still looked at me with that eyes. The eyes that I adore so much, I miss so much. Suddenly I regreted Hongki’s invitation to meet common friends which are most of them from the same agency with him, including Yong Hwa.
It was supposed to be a fun party for us but I really did not enjoy every second of it. If I had a chance to escape…
“Noona, are you okay?” Minhyuk gently touched my hand. His worried look was all over the face.
I smiled to tell him that I was just fine. Luckily he picked the seat next to me right away as he and the rest of the band member came. I could not imagine how if the leader was the one who sat beside me. Well, ussualy Yong hwa always sits beside me before that insident happened. I do not know how to call it but it was full of uncontroled emotionals between me and him.
“Jeongmal gwenchana?” My favorit dongsaeng asked me again.
“Yes, I am okay.”
“You barely touch your food.”
I chuckled, covering my nervous because his guessing was right. After Yonghwa and Hongki, he is the one who knows me well. “Aniyo, I had a lite meal at shooting location.”
“Jinjja? You picked your favorit dish here and..”
“Yah, Minhyuk-ah! Help me with these bottles here!” It was Hong Ki who called him.
“Deh..”
Seeing Minhyuk stood up, I stood up immediately, enough to make him confuse and others eyeing me, including Yong Hwa.
“I..have to go the restroom.”
Minhyuk just smiled awkwardly and grab my wrist so we could go out from the full of crowd table. As he turned his way to FT Island main vocalist, I led my self to the restroom.
I sighed my self after closing the door. I sat on the toilet and covered my face with my palms. The reason I went in this cubical that I was afraid if Minhyuk left his chair empty, Yonghwa would seat on it. And that was the last situation I wanted to be.
I sighed again, this time heavier than before. I recalled the last time we met. We just arguing and arguing until one of us made a statement “maybe we should end this”. Yes, that one was me.
Yonghwa widened his beautiful eyes, disbelieve what I said to him.
“I am tired..”
“Tired about what, Shin?” He asked me, without any effort to make me understood. Maybe he was tired too. Tired to understand me?
We were in a deep long silence, because I didnt answer his question and he didnt seek for it too. Suddenly he stood up made me hurrily said, “Where are you going?”
He didnt reply me at once only gave me a long and heavy sigh. “I am leaving, you said we should end this. What should I do then?” He even not looked at me.
I did not expect that he would agree with what I said. I was busy regreting my previous statement and he moved forward to the door (based on) my long silence.
“Yong hwa..,”
“Maybe you are right. Maybe we should stop this…”
“Yong..”
“You even do not stop me from walking to the door!”
His voice is not loud but his words bashed my heart and it hurted. He was right. I even didnt stop him from leaving me because I was affraid he would leave me anyway even if I beg. Even if I cried like a river. Because I always do that. I was affraid he will get bored because I kept begging him to stay but always start to disagree with everything we had.
He gave me another chance to say something to him but I did not use it wisely. So, he continued to walk out to the door without looking back, without any single word.
Some knockings on the door (menyadarkanku). “In a minute!”
I wiped my tears and washed my face. Checked my self once again in the mirror. Hope I didnt leave any sign that I was crying.
When I opened the door I was surprise. It was Yong hwa who knocked the door. For seconds I couldnt say a word. And neither could he. Or maybe he didnt want to talk with me, I didnt know.
“Gwenchana?” Finally he asked me.
I awkwardly noded my head. He didnt move away so we still stood up in front of the door. Restroom door. “Wae?” I asked him.
“Aniyo, it’s just that..” he paused for a sec. And then looked at me. I waited he continued his talking but all I heard just the crowd laughing an joking around. And he kept looking at me and I looked at him back.
How I miss those eyes, kiss them before sleep. Now I embraced him just by looking at him. From his nose, down to his lips, his sweet lips. And the jaw, I really wanted to touch it right away!
“Don’t tell me you guys wanna make out here,”
Jong hoon surprised us. My cheeks brusted into red,and Yong Hwa acted busy with his phone. And the intruder laughing so hard so almost everyone in that room turned their heads to us.
“Yaa, hyung! What are you doing there?” Asked Hong Ki loudly.
“Aniyo, I think I caught them in the act.” Jong Hoon.smirked at us.
“Really?” Hong ki, still in aloud voice, sais it in disbelieve. “Shin-ah, I thought you had a fight with him.”
I widened my eyes, and cursed that blabrring mouth of drunken Hong Ki. And start to be panic because the room was in silence and everybody looking at me including Yong Hwa. I wished I could slap Hong Ki!
“No, we are not. We are just fine.” Yong Hwa answered the question, but still looking at me made me more nervous. And the room was back to normal again. “We are perfectly fine. Jong hoon, do you want to use the toilet?”
“Aah yes. You know what?” Jong hoon (merangkul) both of u. From his breathe, I think he was a bit drunk too. “You are my role model of artists who is dating. So do not ever give up on nothing. Okay? Can not wait to sing at your wedding!”
“Mwo??” It was surprised me byt not Yonghwa. He just calm1
